fuck chicks, fuck friends, why not just fuck the whole world? And then try and say sorry
ever have one of those extreme days, where nothing seems to be in the middle, but on the two oppsite ends? Thats today for me
Firstly, i was coherient this morning without coffee. Sadly, aya wasnt there to share the moment with me, so that was a downer. Its sad actually. Aya and me havent seen much of each other this year, and i miss her. I dont know what happened, we even have a class together, but its like shes rasied a wall around her, which i cant seem to get through. I refuse to say breach in this context. It sounds so...wrong. Invading. Maybe, i'm the one with the wall... what a cruel twist of irony that would be....
anyways, theni had spanish. Which was boring. And we have a test tomorrow. Not looking forwards to that.
Band. What can i say about band...?
Art. Art today was quiet an adventure. We have been given a new assignment, where we must do life sized replicas of ourselves. Using casts of scotch tape. It will be interesting, no matter how they turn out.
And then we had the first social newpaper meeting. Exciting. I'm actually looking forwards to next week, when we have another meeting. I was asked to bring cookies. I felt very speical!
Of course, before the meeitng, i found out that a friend 9ish) who had given up smoking was caught smoking a fag. That, and that the principle and staff had started to go through the grad committee applications.
And then i came home, expecting to go to rangers all hunky dory. ANd i find out that a close friend of mine has run off with her boyfriend, without telling anyone, and we all found out today. In my case, about 5 minutes ago.
Words are having issues trying to explain how i'm feeling right now.
I mean, if she was having troubles at home, why didn't she go to a friend? Why didnt she come to me? I know that sounds excedeingly selfish, but i care about her, and she should know that i will do whatever i can for her.I mean, she doesnt even like the guy. Why would she go with him? Hes such an asshole! and i dont throw that word around.
Why did she not think she could depend on us? Have we failed her? Or is it she who failed us? Or did we fail eaqchother? I am just so worried about her. I even started to swear. And it takes alot.
let her be ok. I feel like she should be in peak condition so i can have the satisfaction of kicking her ass. And then drying her tears. maybe i can do that with the remains of the dipshit... what a nice thought. I think i might just do that.
Its amazing. I went from being sad, to pissed off, to vengeful, to cold. Theres nothing more i can describe it as. And it terrifyes me. I am the type who supresses, who doesnt feel too much on the outside, but silently within. And my emotions are strong, and last. the fact that i am tired and i barely felt them for more then 10 mins each is not a good sign... could i be emotionally fucked? We'll see. when i see blair.
And try not to slap whatever expression off her face that she happens to be wearing. At least, not tooooooo hard anyways.
Firstly, i was coherient this morning without coffee. Sadly, aya wasnt there to share the moment with me, so that was a downer. Its sad actually. Aya and me havent seen much of each other this year, and i miss her. I dont know what happened, we even have a class together, but its like shes rasied a wall around her, which i cant seem to get through. I refuse to say breach in this context. It sounds so...wrong. Invading. Maybe, i'm the one with the wall... what a cruel twist of irony that would be....
anyways, theni had spanish. Which was boring. And we have a test tomorrow. Not looking forwards to that.
Band. What can i say about band...?
Art. Art today was quiet an adventure. We have been given a new assignment, where we must do life sized replicas of ourselves. Using casts of scotch tape. It will be interesting, no matter how they turn out.
And then we had the first social newpaper meeting. Exciting. I'm actually looking forwards to next week, when we have another meeting. I was asked to bring cookies. I felt very speical!
Of course, before the meeitng, i found out that a friend 9ish) who had given up smoking was caught smoking a fag. That, and that the principle and staff had started to go through the grad committee applications.
And then i came home, expecting to go to rangers all hunky dory. ANd i find out that a close friend of mine has run off with her boyfriend, without telling anyone, and we all found out today. In my case, about 5 minutes ago.
Words are having issues trying to explain how i'm feeling right now.
I mean, if she was having troubles at home, why didn't she go to a friend? Why didnt she come to me? I know that sounds excedeingly selfish, but i care about her, and she should know that i will do whatever i can for her.I mean, she doesnt even like the guy. Why would she go with him? Hes such an asshole! and i dont throw that word around.
Why did she not think she could depend on us? Have we failed her? Or is it she who failed us? Or did we fail eaqchother? I am just so worried about her. I even started to swear. And it takes alot.
let her be ok. I feel like she should be in peak condition so i can have the satisfaction of kicking her ass. And then drying her tears. maybe i can do that with the remains of the dipshit... what a nice thought. I think i might just do that.
Its amazing. I went from being sad, to pissed off, to vengeful, to cold. Theres nothing more i can describe it as. And it terrifyes me. I am the type who supresses, who doesnt feel too much on the outside, but silently within. And my emotions are strong, and last. the fact that i am tired and i barely felt them for more then 10 mins each is not a good sign... could i be emotionally fucked? We'll see. when i see blair.
And try not to slap whatever expression off her face that she happens to be wearing. At least, not tooooooo hard anyways.
posted by dragon's voice at 4:10 PM
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