ah ha, its been quiet awhile!
life has gone crazy. My boss at tim's was mean, and didnt give me any hours practically, so i quit. And am ver proud of that. Ended tutoring on a good note as well, which was somewhat sad. Managed to go out to the cabin for three weeks, which was a nice, slower speed. I read some novels, worked on some crafts,and just generally had a good time whn i could.
It was a really nice and lazy time. Such a change. Minus all the relationship issues.
The night before i left for vancouver, mom and dad got into another big row. I havent cried myself to sleep like that in years....
Vancouver is crazy. Haven really been off campus too often. I haven't really needed to. And i guess i am somewhat afraid to. I walked down to the village, which is a little shopping center right off campus, and nearly got hit by a bus. It was terrorfying! i know it sounds very sterile now, but at the time it was so, well, terrofying, lol!
i cant believe i just said 'lol' on a blag rant....
And,i dont know. I feel so...out of place at times. When i went into downtown vancouver with Tom, Venus, and Marley, it was just so overwhelming. I couldnt quiet grasp how big it all was...i felt so small. Insignificant. antish. I'm used to wide open spaces, and constant sky, not a sprawling city which encompasses ones whole view. Yes, it was pretty, but it is also a city. And hence one of the uglyest manmade things there are.
Yah, am still pretty country. I found that since i'e moved away, i listen to a lot more country. I dont know why. Maybe its a link to home, or days long gone. For whatever reason, i have been, and getting teased for it. Thast another thing here. People tease you, Their words arentbiting, or scarcastic, or spiteful; they are just teasing ina light hearted way. I always knew that my highschool was a little unrealistic, but until i got out here, i didnt know how bad it was. I was talking to this one girl on one of the first days, and thats when it really hit me. Hey, my school was a friggin melo-drama. And now, i just want to know if other peoples schools were the same. And so far, none are. So i feel like some extra from a show which no one watched, and yet, well, blarg.
I miss bambi. And blair. And tasha. And aya. And hannah. And everyone. I knew, hey, your not going to see them again for awhile. BUt we all seem to suck at emailing and texting one another. Thank god for facebook... i would feel even more cut off if not for that. Mom and dad call, and seeing as how they never talk, i just seem to get recycled questions. Which can get pretty boring and/or annoying. I know that they hate each other, but why they still cant talk to one another is beyond me. Save us children the experience of being pawns in some bad power-struggle game. I'm happy to be away from all that, dont get me wrong (am i ever happy to get away from that), but i guess its because i carry that around with me, i look at relationshiips and wonder "are they happy?".
i seem to know a lot of unhappy people. Most of them liv back home. every thing is so more liberal over here. Its not like i jumps out at you or anything, but its the subtle differences. Like men holding hands as they walk down the street, that people can do almost anything that they want. One thing which i dont like though, is how very few people seem to speak their minds. I always wonder what some people are thinking, what their personal view /opinion is on something, but i have a feeling that if i ask, they'd lie/. And thats not what i',m interested in.
people here percieve me as 'social'. I've never moved, or transferred schools, or anything in my whole life, until this point. My roomie, who i adore, thoguht it was odd, but shes been really supportive of whatever i want to do. Which is just amazing. I love her. Shes encouraging me to try new things, and to just be me.
which is becomming confusing. I think i'm possibly changing. Not just adapting, which is soomething i've always done. you adapt to a situation, an environment. But not change. We were talking about it before chelsea came aknocking on our door so we all would go watch Heroes. we couldnt pcik the convo up again. the moment was gone.
i've had a lot of deep, personal talks. i had one with lana, a really great half japanese girl from across the hall, and i have new degrees of respect for her. we told each other things that neitherof us had told anyone else, and i dunno, female bonding occured i guess. Havent really seen her since then, but i just feel like we;re a lot closer.
thats another oddity, Things happen so quikly over here. its like we;re all rushing off somewhere, but no one is too sure where there is. And each day seems to drag itself by, but on the weekend, when you look back, it seems that it just whipped by you. Life, what can i say?
blarg.
am getting hungry...
my hair looks like a bush....
life has gone crazy. My boss at tim's was mean, and didnt give me any hours practically, so i quit. And am ver proud of that. Ended tutoring on a good note as well, which was somewhat sad. Managed to go out to the cabin for three weeks, which was a nice, slower speed. I read some novels, worked on some crafts,and just generally had a good time whn i could.
It was a really nice and lazy time. Such a change. Minus all the relationship issues.
The night before i left for vancouver, mom and dad got into another big row. I havent cried myself to sleep like that in years....
Vancouver is crazy. Haven really been off campus too often. I haven't really needed to. And i guess i am somewhat afraid to. I walked down to the village, which is a little shopping center right off campus, and nearly got hit by a bus. It was terrorfying! i know it sounds very sterile now, but at the time it was so, well, terrofying, lol!
i cant believe i just said 'lol' on a blag rant....
And,i dont know. I feel so...out of place at times. When i went into downtown vancouver with Tom, Venus, and Marley, it was just so overwhelming. I couldnt quiet grasp how big it all was...i felt so small. Insignificant. antish. I'm used to wide open spaces, and constant sky, not a sprawling city which encompasses ones whole view. Yes, it was pretty, but it is also a city. And hence one of the uglyest manmade things there are.
Yah, am still pretty country. I found that since i'e moved away, i listen to a lot more country. I dont know why. Maybe its a link to home, or days long gone. For whatever reason, i have been, and getting teased for it. Thast another thing here. People tease you, Their words arentbiting, or scarcastic, or spiteful; they are just teasing ina light hearted way. I always knew that my highschool was a little unrealistic, but until i got out here, i didnt know how bad it was. I was talking to this one girl on one of the first days, and thats when it really hit me. Hey, my school was a friggin melo-drama. And now, i just want to know if other peoples schools were the same. And so far, none are. So i feel like some extra from a show which no one watched, and yet, well, blarg.
I miss bambi. And blair. And tasha. And aya. And hannah. And everyone. I knew, hey, your not going to see them again for awhile. BUt we all seem to suck at emailing and texting one another. Thank god for facebook... i would feel even more cut off if not for that. Mom and dad call, and seeing as how they never talk, i just seem to get recycled questions. Which can get pretty boring and/or annoying. I know that they hate each other, but why they still cant talk to one another is beyond me. Save us children the experience of being pawns in some bad power-struggle game. I'm happy to be away from all that, dont get me wrong (am i ever happy to get away from that), but i guess its because i carry that around with me, i look at relationshiips and wonder "are they happy?".
i seem to know a lot of unhappy people. Most of them liv back home. every thing is so more liberal over here. Its not like i jumps out at you or anything, but its the subtle differences. Like men holding hands as they walk down the street, that people can do almost anything that they want. One thing which i dont like though, is how very few people seem to speak their minds. I always wonder what some people are thinking, what their personal view /opinion is on something, but i have a feeling that if i ask, they'd lie/. And thats not what i',m interested in.
people here percieve me as 'social'. I've never moved, or transferred schools, or anything in my whole life, until this point. My roomie, who i adore, thoguht it was odd, but shes been really supportive of whatever i want to do. Which is just amazing. I love her. Shes encouraging me to try new things, and to just be me.
which is becomming confusing. I think i'm possibly changing. Not just adapting, which is soomething i've always done. you adapt to a situation, an environment. But not change. We were talking about it before chelsea came aknocking on our door so we all would go watch Heroes. we couldnt pcik the convo up again. the moment was gone.
i've had a lot of deep, personal talks. i had one with lana, a really great half japanese girl from across the hall, and i have new degrees of respect for her. we told each other things that neitherof us had told anyone else, and i dunno, female bonding occured i guess. Havent really seen her since then, but i just feel like we;re a lot closer.
thats another oddity, Things happen so quikly over here. its like we;re all rushing off somewhere, but no one is too sure where there is. And each day seems to drag itself by, but on the weekend, when you look back, it seems that it just whipped by you. Life, what can i say?
blarg.
am getting hungry...
my hair looks like a bush....
posted by dragon's voice at 11:57 AM
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