well, am in school right now. Which is oh-so-fun. Not.
Everyone (blair, aya and them) have all gone off to their tests, math, something thats a nessary evil for a few years, and then proptly mostly forgotten.Whatever right? we just sent 4 years learning advanced math that'll never be applied. No big loss, right? Wrong!!!!
i decided to write in blue as it suited my mood. I dont know if anyone still reads this (blairs probably the only one who does). It no longer seems wierd to me to think that a complete stranger would read this. Its now just wierd when friends do. But that hasn't happened too much, cept for blair and occasionally aya, so hasn't come up lately.
I hate it. i just hate it. Today, when we were all togetehr around the table "studying", i kept picking up on everyones emotions. And damn, it fucks you up good. I was told that i can't get my rings until after march ( 2 months down the line, at least) , and i guess i'll have to suck it up and channel emotions and shit. I had been hoping to be able to get something that would block them out, or at least deminish their intestisty, but whenever i plan to ask aya, i get swept away in her and everyone else's emotions, and i forget, as other things start to fill my mind. When i was having my massage last night, (first timer, it was thrilling) i was picking up on what my masuis was actually thinking. I never even heard some of those words before. Twas strange and kinda unsettling.
because of this stupid development, i have been distancing myself from people. and sadly, friends. Why can't i just have a good time with my friends? I mean, what happened that cahnged it all so i knew wayyyy more then i ever wanted to?What did i do that was so bad? But then again, i guess it might not be a punishment. Just an unforseen development. Damn it!!
i put on make up today. Well, eyeshadow (3 shades which i blended), mascarra, and even eye-liner. No one noticed. I even wore my hair back.
i brought my tarrot cards to school to maybe do a reading for blair, as i know she wanted one done. And so far. all the readings i have done have come to pass. And its fucking annoying. but yah, i thought maybe she'd want it done. And then the whole emotional-shitfest factor occured and i forgot to ask her. Arg. Maybe when shes out of her test and if i leave the tutoiral early.
Everyone (blair, aya and them) have all gone off to their tests, math, something thats a nessary evil for a few years, and then proptly mostly forgotten.Whatever right? we just sent 4 years learning advanced math that'll never be applied. No big loss, right? Wrong!!!!
i decided to write in blue as it suited my mood. I dont know if anyone still reads this (blairs probably the only one who does). It no longer seems wierd to me to think that a complete stranger would read this. Its now just wierd when friends do. But that hasn't happened too much, cept for blair and occasionally aya, so hasn't come up lately.
I hate it. i just hate it. Today, when we were all togetehr around the table "studying", i kept picking up on everyones emotions. And damn, it fucks you up good. I was told that i can't get my rings until after march ( 2 months down the line, at least) , and i guess i'll have to suck it up and channel emotions and shit. I had been hoping to be able to get something that would block them out, or at least deminish their intestisty, but whenever i plan to ask aya, i get swept away in her and everyone else's emotions, and i forget, as other things start to fill my mind. When i was having my massage last night, (first timer, it was thrilling) i was picking up on what my masuis was actually thinking. I never even heard some of those words before. Twas strange and kinda unsettling.
because of this stupid development, i have been distancing myself from people. and sadly, friends. Why can't i just have a good time with my friends? I mean, what happened that cahnged it all so i knew wayyyy more then i ever wanted to?What did i do that was so bad? But then again, i guess it might not be a punishment. Just an unforseen development. Damn it!!
i put on make up today. Well, eyeshadow (3 shades which i blended), mascarra, and even eye-liner. No one noticed. I even wore my hair back.
i brought my tarrot cards to school to maybe do a reading for blair, as i know she wanted one done. And so far. all the readings i have done have come to pass. And its fucking annoying. but yah, i thought maybe she'd want it done. And then the whole emotional-shitfest factor occured and i forgot to ask her. Arg. Maybe when shes out of her test and if i leave the tutoiral early.
posted by dragon's voice at 11:51 AM
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