assumptions
well, my good day went right to hell. why cant any of my good days remain that way?
i just finished reading ayas blog. Remeber aya bloggert? while, lets just say i thought she knew me better, or at least had an inkiling of how i feel. See, this is one reason why i never try to imigine what people are thinking, as you always get it wrong, guarenteed. And if, ever, you get it right, dont think you can do it again. I little something i learned from my childhood. See bloggert, she seems to have convently forgotten that she invited me to a little movie fest she was having over the weekend. She invited me along on the night of the play(which was really awesome, thanks for askinh) . I'd been thinking about it, but tristian asked me in chem if i'd come along, and i thought, well, hey, the one person who might not have wanted me to come does, so yay. *insert happy moment here* .
so, come saturday when we were ment to have this little get together, my mom was in a mood and i got out of there in time to avoid something ugly. so i go over, under flase pretense apparently. Over the past 3 years or so, tristan has really changed. I dont mind spending time with him, and i know that hes flirted with me on a few occasions. In all my knowldge, i've never flirted with him. As i am accused of. Well, thats a little harsh on wording, but it seems approiate to my mood. Jeliously does starnge things to people. But whatever. I'm used to people saying stuff like that about me, even when their bf has moved and i've never seen them for 6 years or so. i'm used to being a scapegoat for others problems.
frankly, when i look around our school, you know that at least a third to a half do drugs and or alchol. Regularly. so, its no big shock. I mean, i've known some of my friends were doing drugs before they ever told me, due to word to mouth from a reliable network. one of the few perks to never moving. and you know, theres always that slight amount of dissipointemt they is experenced, yet i understand why they would do it. I know a lot of people who openly talk about their experences when they are on a trip or drunk, and yah, it could possibly be fun. but i choose not to, simple as that.
it really pisses me off that people say i dont know where their comming from. I mean, i wont know unless you tell me. But that doesn't mean you know where i'm comming from either. Assumptions are made, and so are labels. thats life. Its what happens. But, and bloggert you are so lucky you dont experence this, when people decide they know all about you, things tend to get very ackward. recently, actually, i was talking to a friend on the phone and she didn't know what i've done. All the shit i did to myself in grade eight. the fact that the scars faded is amazing, that there are no longer any marks as to what i did is something to be marveld at for sure.
Its a good thing i trust you bloggert, as, well, i dont usually tell people this. I mean, i need oodles and oodles of trust to tell people stuff to begin with. Good thing your just a faceless being whom i invision inside the internet who is non-judgemental. Foreveryone else, well, i hope you enjoy the trials of my life. Someone may as well laugh at them .
no, wait, thats misleading. Laugh and i hope you choke on chum.
man ,today really sucks. As nerdy as it sounds, i am sorry bloggert, i have to ditch you for hw.....*insert sad here*
i just finished reading ayas blog. Remeber aya bloggert? while, lets just say i thought she knew me better, or at least had an inkiling of how i feel. See, this is one reason why i never try to imigine what people are thinking, as you always get it wrong, guarenteed. And if, ever, you get it right, dont think you can do it again. I little something i learned from my childhood. See bloggert, she seems to have convently forgotten that she invited me to a little movie fest she was having over the weekend. She invited me along on the night of the play(which was really awesome, thanks for askinh) . I'd been thinking about it, but tristian asked me in chem if i'd come along, and i thought, well, hey, the one person who might not have wanted me to come does, so yay. *insert happy moment here* .
so, come saturday when we were ment to have this little get together, my mom was in a mood and i got out of there in time to avoid something ugly. so i go over, under flase pretense apparently. Over the past 3 years or so, tristan has really changed. I dont mind spending time with him, and i know that hes flirted with me on a few occasions. In all my knowldge, i've never flirted with him. As i am accused of. Well, thats a little harsh on wording, but it seems approiate to my mood. Jeliously does starnge things to people. But whatever. I'm used to people saying stuff like that about me, even when their bf has moved and i've never seen them for 6 years or so. i'm used to being a scapegoat for others problems.
frankly, when i look around our school, you know that at least a third to a half do drugs and or alchol. Regularly. so, its no big shock. I mean, i've known some of my friends were doing drugs before they ever told me, due to word to mouth from a reliable network. one of the few perks to never moving. and you know, theres always that slight amount of dissipointemt they is experenced, yet i understand why they would do it. I know a lot of people who openly talk about their experences when they are on a trip or drunk, and yah, it could possibly be fun. but i choose not to, simple as that.
it really pisses me off that people say i dont know where their comming from. I mean, i wont know unless you tell me. But that doesn't mean you know where i'm comming from either. Assumptions are made, and so are labels. thats life. Its what happens. But, and bloggert you are so lucky you dont experence this, when people decide they know all about you, things tend to get very ackward. recently, actually, i was talking to a friend on the phone and she didn't know what i've done. All the shit i did to myself in grade eight. the fact that the scars faded is amazing, that there are no longer any marks as to what i did is something to be marveld at for sure.
Its a good thing i trust you bloggert, as, well, i dont usually tell people this. I mean, i need oodles and oodles of trust to tell people stuff to begin with. Good thing your just a faceless being whom i invision inside the internet who is non-judgemental. Foreveryone else, well, i hope you enjoy the trials of my life. Someone may as well laugh at them .
no, wait, thats misleading. Laugh and i hope you choke on chum.
man ,today really sucks. As nerdy as it sounds, i am sorry bloggert, i have to ditch you for hw.....*insert sad here*
posted by dragon's voice at 2:56 PM
1 Comments:
Okay. First, please read my entry for today (Monday May 15, "Blog-Wars"). That way I don't have to repeat it here. I'm sorry that you took what I said the wrong way, but I wasn't trying to be aggressive, or insult you. Thus, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. Also, I'm sorry that you hurt my feelings. And tomorrow, hopefully we can both sit and talk and get everything straight civilly. Or end up in a screaming catfight. Hopefully the first one, because even if our bubbles were in opposite dimensions (which I guess they are, in a way), I still care very much about you. And I'm writing this here in case we DO get into a screaming catfight and I don't get a chance to say it.
I love you very much, even if we don't connect, and that's what I was trying (in a failed way) to say.
-Sayata.
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