So many people wonder why i leave the radio turned up loud and blaring in the house.
The reason, moments like these.
Upstairs, pam and mom are howling at one another. Pam doesnt want to see a speaker, mom is forcing her to go. This is the first time i've heard mom say "do your homework later." The profanity is alarming. At least one of them could try to be mature about the whole situation....
Thats one reason i dislike being here so much. Dont get me wrong, i love my house, and on some level, every family member in their own way. But the screams and hollars that seem to now be as common as the radio, the same old arguments rearing their ugly heads and giving birth to new ones; memories long since past which will continuly be thrown into the face like mud.
Still wonder why i want to get away? WHy i didnt graduate early and stay home and work or somesuch manner? Why university is such a bekon, which, very sadly, might go out?
Costant noise. The headaches and migranes.
I no longer have a solice. All of my friends who i would rely on are either struggling as well, or i can no longer trust. Not since that was betrayed, and i was left forgetton and uncared for. Well, there is one who i would trust, who could still refuge me from the storm which brews in these four walls, yet i would not summit her to its wrath. Life is full of storms, isnt that what they say?
Its gotten to the point where everyone seems to be complaining to me. No longer is the house safe to do so, unless its known wholy and completely that we are alone, two figures, no more. Stairwell lurkers are common, as are vent listners and tell-tales. The cars are the worst. When ever we go somewhere, depending who it is, i hear them lt loose about the other, or someone else. THe endless stream of words which cheapen themselves.
The endless prattle about who everone else is to blame, the lack of humility, how the whole world seems to be going down the drain and whose fault it is.
I am sick of it. ALl the babble, the screams, the tones and back stabbings. How one can be so cruel and twofaced. I dont understand it and i hope i never do. I know i am at fault, as no one escapes it, but at least i dont submit others to the same pain i experience everyday.
Why cant there be one day without an argument. One peaceful, quiet day when teeth are not bared and smiles are genuine.
Why does this seem to be getting worse? I cant wait to get out of here. To get away from it all.
I've actually considered going to live with friends. Dallas is currently proving a haven to many, perhapos i could seek refuge there. Or torys, as i have done in the past. It would be very wierd either, as it has occured before and worked amazingly well.
WHy i dont is something i am oblivious to...
And once again, the voices rasie and tears are shed and the radio blares on, valiently attempting to shelter me from the storm of the home, which is too good for this torment.
The reason, moments like these.
Upstairs, pam and mom are howling at one another. Pam doesnt want to see a speaker, mom is forcing her to go. This is the first time i've heard mom say "do your homework later." The profanity is alarming. At least one of them could try to be mature about the whole situation....
Thats one reason i dislike being here so much. Dont get me wrong, i love my house, and on some level, every family member in their own way. But the screams and hollars that seem to now be as common as the radio, the same old arguments rearing their ugly heads and giving birth to new ones; memories long since past which will continuly be thrown into the face like mud.
Still wonder why i want to get away? WHy i didnt graduate early and stay home and work or somesuch manner? Why university is such a bekon, which, very sadly, might go out?
Costant noise. The headaches and migranes.
I no longer have a solice. All of my friends who i would rely on are either struggling as well, or i can no longer trust. Not since that was betrayed, and i was left forgetton and uncared for. Well, there is one who i would trust, who could still refuge me from the storm which brews in these four walls, yet i would not summit her to its wrath. Life is full of storms, isnt that what they say?
Its gotten to the point where everyone seems to be complaining to me. No longer is the house safe to do so, unless its known wholy and completely that we are alone, two figures, no more. Stairwell lurkers are common, as are vent listners and tell-tales. The cars are the worst. When ever we go somewhere, depending who it is, i hear them lt loose about the other, or someone else. THe endless stream of words which cheapen themselves.
The endless prattle about who everone else is to blame, the lack of humility, how the whole world seems to be going down the drain and whose fault it is.
I am sick of it. ALl the babble, the screams, the tones and back stabbings. How one can be so cruel and twofaced. I dont understand it and i hope i never do. I know i am at fault, as no one escapes it, but at least i dont submit others to the same pain i experience everyday.
Why cant there be one day without an argument. One peaceful, quiet day when teeth are not bared and smiles are genuine.
Why does this seem to be getting worse? I cant wait to get out of here. To get away from it all.
I've actually considered going to live with friends. Dallas is currently proving a haven to many, perhapos i could seek refuge there. Or torys, as i have done in the past. It would be very wierd either, as it has occured before and worked amazingly well.
WHy i dont is something i am oblivious to...
And once again, the voices rasie and tears are shed and the radio blares on, valiently attempting to shelter me from the storm of the home, which is too good for this torment.
posted by dragon's voice at 5:24 PM
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